So afraid...
Of losing a member of EDS...
Of failing in almost every subject...
Of losing the sanity of one dear friend...
Of disappointing those who trust me...
So very afraid... I can't think about it. Just yesterday night I was lecturing Vicky for not turning up for EDS. I tried to make sure EDS can be together... But I have to be the bad guy. It's for EDS. It never was like this till my batch came into the school. Our first drama night, our first competitions, our first everything! We can't just leave a mess behind after my batch goes. The sec 1's have so much potential, they shocked me with their improvisational skills with the Story Challenge training. I feel so proud to be a member of EDS... But, I need them. I need their support. I need them to be committed. We can't go on if everyone just gives up... Ms. Adri must never give up on the script, the prop guys must never give up on our props, the actors most importantly must never give up on their roles! So afraid...
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Monday, 26 January 2009
GONG XI FA CAI!!!
Whoo! Today is first day of CNY!!! So damn happy. Saw the eclipse man! I thank myself for breaking my bone and having a few sheets of X-Ray to look at the eclipse! Cool man! BTW, there is another eclipse on July 22! Must remind myself...
Yea, today played Sims 2 Castaway on my cousin's Wii. Damn nice, too bad my other cousins don't appreaciate the game of survival. But, thinking about it, that reminds me of my time in camp... So primal, back to basics game. I remember the Southern Cross on the firefly cruise... Brings back the memories man.
Yea, I'm off to play some game. Dunno which one but I'm off to play something!
Yea, today played Sims 2 Castaway on my cousin's Wii. Damn nice, too bad my other cousins don't appreaciate the game of survival. But, thinking about it, that reminds me of my time in camp... So primal, back to basics game. I remember the Southern Cross on the firefly cruise... Brings back the memories man.
Yea, I'm off to play some game. Dunno which one but I'm off to play something!
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Life is like...
Basketball.
There is always opposing and supporting teams.
Success (The ball) always goes from one team to the other alternatively.
The strong guys (leaders) take the lead, the weaker ones help in any way they can.
Sometimes it gets too rough, a little pause needs to be taken and everyone is one team.
Success is always sweet.
Most of the time chiongers don't succeed.
Rare miracles do happen when the weaker ones stand up and prove their worth.
We're all in one court, we're just playing.
There is always opposing and supporting teams.
Success (The ball) always goes from one team to the other alternatively.
The strong guys (leaders) take the lead, the weaker ones help in any way they can.
Sometimes it gets too rough, a little pause needs to be taken and everyone is one team.
Success is always sweet.
Most of the time chiongers don't succeed.
Rare miracles do happen when the weaker ones stand up and prove their worth.
We're all in one court, we're just playing.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Meditation Blog Answer...
I'm gonna answer this like all at one time and not in parts...
Loneliness. What is the meaning of loneliness? The feeling, sounds so familiar, yet the actual meaning of it disputed by all. Is loneliness painful? It seems to be. For all that is left of a lonely person is merely a fragment of his past. But he is not lonely, if he wants. His fragment of memory that lives in him continues as a companion for him to push forward and find that true meaning of happiness in life. If loneliness is not defined being totally alienated, then what is it? It would be like just a tiny molecule of water. Even a drop of water contains approximately a million of the molecules. But, existing alone, past, present and in the future, without any other similar companions to share a similar story. It has no memory, no feelings, no future. True loneliness, does not hurt at all. But it is impossible to achieve.
Faith, a steadfast value which is in present society being eroded of its worth and value. Once when man wanted his due, he got his due. However, when man wants his due in these times, he has to show a full file worth's of documents to prove his due. Is it due to human's ever present miscalculations and forgetfulness that we require these documents? If so, the scientists are to blame, for the previous systems is not an accurate depiction of work neither it is for faith. But now, as we speak, millions of heartbreaks occur. A rate of almost every second, a man thinks about a woman and a woman swoons over a man. However, as news reports every fortnight in every town, every city and every nation a man or woman is betrayed, divorced, and what not. But why, if we blame this whole thing on a value of faith and reject faith as a consequence, would we be blind to not consider what forms of society we had in the past as the reason? Our ancestors were forced to marry, parents ruled it, the sons and daughters had no choice but to agree. Love and affection was but a child's play. Yet the couples back then stayed true to each other, not by love but by faith. They have faith that each of them will take their own part and stay true for eternity till death. But now, love and affection blinds this words of faith and most take these blindly. We must clear our eyes of love and affection to see beneath the heavy responsibilities and the faith that your partner will need them and vice versa.
Even as I type, some out there claims that he or she have lost complete hope, or I see that they have lost all hope that can be. The faith that defines hope extinguishes, one turns away from all form of positive expression and views the world in total disgrace and negativeness. They were once children whose views held hopes as high as any of those around us, but they left it. But when one turns away from this sea of misery, they find themselves into the burning hell of misery, surrounded by those who can laugh and see light in darkness. But, when one is saved, that person will go all out to save the others from this great abyss and grab those who are not saved, for they have tasted the delights and tortures of being in either ends, and the sea is always more cooling than the tongues of fire.Therefore, the people in complete desperation, they look up, see those who are saved, a tinge of hope returns. Therefore, no one loses complete hope at all.
Loneliness. What is the meaning of loneliness? The feeling, sounds so familiar, yet the actual meaning of it disputed by all. Is loneliness painful? It seems to be. For all that is left of a lonely person is merely a fragment of his past. But he is not lonely, if he wants. His fragment of memory that lives in him continues as a companion for him to push forward and find that true meaning of happiness in life. If loneliness is not defined being totally alienated, then what is it? It would be like just a tiny molecule of water. Even a drop of water contains approximately a million of the molecules. But, existing alone, past, present and in the future, without any other similar companions to share a similar story. It has no memory, no feelings, no future. True loneliness, does not hurt at all. But it is impossible to achieve.
Faith, a steadfast value which is in present society being eroded of its worth and value. Once when man wanted his due, he got his due. However, when man wants his due in these times, he has to show a full file worth's of documents to prove his due. Is it due to human's ever present miscalculations and forgetfulness that we require these documents? If so, the scientists are to blame, for the previous systems is not an accurate depiction of work neither it is for faith. But now, as we speak, millions of heartbreaks occur. A rate of almost every second, a man thinks about a woman and a woman swoons over a man. However, as news reports every fortnight in every town, every city and every nation a man or woman is betrayed, divorced, and what not. But why, if we blame this whole thing on a value of faith and reject faith as a consequence, would we be blind to not consider what forms of society we had in the past as the reason? Our ancestors were forced to marry, parents ruled it, the sons and daughters had no choice but to agree. Love and affection was but a child's play. Yet the couples back then stayed true to each other, not by love but by faith. They have faith that each of them will take their own part and stay true for eternity till death. But now, love and affection blinds this words of faith and most take these blindly. We must clear our eyes of love and affection to see beneath the heavy responsibilities and the faith that your partner will need them and vice versa.
Even as I type, some out there claims that he or she have lost complete hope, or I see that they have lost all hope that can be. The faith that defines hope extinguishes, one turns away from all form of positive expression and views the world in total disgrace and negativeness. They were once children whose views held hopes as high as any of those around us, but they left it. But when one turns away from this sea of misery, they find themselves into the burning hell of misery, surrounded by those who can laugh and see light in darkness. But, when one is saved, that person will go all out to save the others from this great abyss and grab those who are not saved, for they have tasted the delights and tortures of being in either ends, and the sea is always more cooling than the tongues of fire.Therefore, the people in complete desperation, they look up, see those who are saved, a tinge of hope returns. Therefore, no one loses complete hope at all.
Monday, 19 January 2009
Meditation Blog...
Today, I'm gonna meditate... 2 full hours... Thinking of a few questions...
1) What is loneliness?
2) What is faith?
3) Why do we lose complete hope?
Yea... chim, I'll tell you the answers in the next post...
Now to cut my fingernails...
1) What is loneliness?
2) What is faith?
3) Why do we lose complete hope?
Yea... chim, I'll tell you the answers in the next post...
Now to cut my fingernails...
Sunday, 18 January 2009
A little poem...
Well... I don't want to introduce this, so, enjoy and try to understand!
Ms. Vampire
By Eugene Koh
The winds blow at such great speeds.
Yet the grass remains rooted.
The heart beats faster than sound.
But love takes her heart astray.
Not to long ago, I knew her.
A vain missy, preening her long hair.
I a suitor to her that time.
Rejected thrice but I gave up not.
I've seen her, mislead and astray.
I've seen her when she was betrayed.
Those times, were those, I wished to help,
But could not.
Each break, worse than the last,
I could do nothing,
Only to watch like dust in the wind,
Helpless, both of us were.
It was till a point,
Mid of last year,
That she took the last straw,
And tried to dump the burden.
At first, relieved was I,
Half a decade of burden,
Washed away in her.
But, was I wrong or right?
Not long later,
She herself was bitten,
By this strange monstrous feeling,
That she was a vampire.
Now she stays awake,
During night and day,
She ponders what is happiness,
I could do nothing, but say.
"It is within you, before, now, and forever."
The End
Ms. Vampire
By Eugene Koh
The winds blow at such great speeds.
Yet the grass remains rooted.
The heart beats faster than sound.
But love takes her heart astray.
Not to long ago, I knew her.
A vain missy, preening her long hair.
I a suitor to her that time.
Rejected thrice but I gave up not.
I've seen her, mislead and astray.
I've seen her when she was betrayed.
Those times, were those, I wished to help,
But could not.
Each break, worse than the last,
I could do nothing,
Only to watch like dust in the wind,
Helpless, both of us were.
It was till a point,
Mid of last year,
That she took the last straw,
And tried to dump the burden.
At first, relieved was I,
Half a decade of burden,
Washed away in her.
But, was I wrong or right?
Not long later,
She herself was bitten,
By this strange monstrous feeling,
That she was a vampire.
Now she stays awake,
During night and day,
She ponders what is happiness,
I could do nothing, but say.
"It is within you, before, now, and forever."
The End
Saturday, 17 January 2009
AVA MAKAN SESSION!!!
Whee, lunch at Seoul Garden was superb! Good work for you guys who worked so damn hard at Sec 1 drama nite 2008 last year. You guys endured 9 fked up chinese drama instructors, saw me blast, and practically drinking coffee to stay awake. And this Seoul Garden meal is organized by our dear Rui brothers and Yan Lun!!! *Claps*
Sze Ning damn joke today. Mr. Chia on that table she shift place to sit beside me. Lols. Then Mr. Chia say is she don't want sit with Mark. What the hell man! Damn joke.
That was really filling guys. AVA Olympics is surely one good idea man. Lets see the events...
1) Set Hanging Mikes - 50m
2) Multiple Mike Set-up - 8 Mikes
3) Basic Hall Set-up (Duathalon, Triathalon, Tetrthalon)
Maybe more... but these will be the starters, shall we? Haha
Sze Ning damn joke today. Mr. Chia on that table she shift place to sit beside me. Lols. Then Mr. Chia say is she don't want sit with Mark. What the hell man! Damn joke.
That was really filling guys. AVA Olympics is surely one good idea man. Lets see the events...
1) Set Hanging Mikes - 50m
2) Multiple Mike Set-up - 8 Mikes
3) Basic Hall Set-up (Duathalon, Triathalon, Tetrthalon)
Maybe more... but these will be the starters, shall we? Haha
Friday, 16 January 2009
Birthdays!!!
Wow, I never knew EDS has so many January birthdays! Yesterday was Yuki's birthday (though we didn't really celebrate it, but I'm gonna buy her a present!), today was Yiliang's and Vicky's birthday (And we celebrated Vicky's birthday on Yuki's birthday... haha)...
EDS was very fruitful today. Detailed block in my scenes already, so now left with the last few scenes. After EDS I decided to follow the birthday girl to Clementi who was with my ~dear~ chairman, Roi. Man, I feel so damn guilty intimidating a Sec 2 boy...
"The third eye can be trained?"
"Yea, but your life force will decrease. As in you will live shorter."
"NO WAY!!! I'm gonna live till I'm 90 and a REAL Zor Gong."
(Me and Yuki on training a third eye.)
On the way back to Pasir Ris where I will take bus no. 3 back home, Roi was "interviewing" me on questions to be a chairman. OH I so damn want to be a chairman. A combined Drama Nite has always been the dream of mine... I have to realise it soon before I'm sec 4!
Going to prepare for AVA Makan Session liao...
EDS was very fruitful today. Detailed block in my scenes already, so now left with the last few scenes. After EDS I decided to follow the birthday girl to Clementi who was with my ~dear~ chairman, Roi. Man, I feel so damn guilty intimidating a Sec 2 boy...
"The third eye can be trained?"
"Yea, but your life force will decrease. As in you will live shorter."
"NO WAY!!! I'm gonna live till I'm 90 and a REAL Zor Gong."
(Me and Yuki on training a third eye.)
On the way back to Pasir Ris where I will take bus no. 3 back home, Roi was "interviewing" me on questions to be a chairman. OH I so damn want to be a chairman. A combined Drama Nite has always been the dream of mine... I have to realise it soon before I'm sec 4!
Going to prepare for AVA Makan Session liao...
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
I'm getting old...
Oh gee...
I'm 15 already...
Not that I didn't know it, but the reality is just starting to hit me. Time just whirred past me like the wind at the concourse nearing the lake. Just 3 years ago about now I was waiting for my drama results and skipping the first assignments of school. I wonder how I got through these not doing/handing up of homework without being caught. Then just 3 years before that I was in Geylang Methodist, spending my last year there before being sent to a far away primary school in Punggol. Then 3 years before I just started Primary school.
So damn fast... 3 years later I'll be in National Service already...
Just the other day I was chatting with my EDS Junior, I was kinda happy to see that now my juniors have become actors in their own right, with pride and focus on stage, but at the same time I see myself in long pants, which means I'm not going to be with my dear juniors any further...
I miss my Primary school AVA. I almost cried when I dreamt about it the other time...
I can't imagine when I'm going from Chung Cheng... what life can be...
I'm 15 already...
Not that I didn't know it, but the reality is just starting to hit me. Time just whirred past me like the wind at the concourse nearing the lake. Just 3 years ago about now I was waiting for my drama results and skipping the first assignments of school. I wonder how I got through these not doing/handing up of homework without being caught. Then just 3 years before that I was in Geylang Methodist, spending my last year there before being sent to a far away primary school in Punggol. Then 3 years before I just started Primary school.
So damn fast... 3 years later I'll be in National Service already...
Just the other day I was chatting with my EDS Junior, I was kinda happy to see that now my juniors have become actors in their own right, with pride and focus on stage, but at the same time I see myself in long pants, which means I'm not going to be with my dear juniors any further...
I miss my Primary school AVA. I almost cried when I dreamt about it the other time...
I can't imagine when I'm going from Chung Cheng... what life can be...
Monday, 12 January 2009
A Duet Poem...
Haha... Looks new eh? I didn't find it on the internet, I came up with it by myself.
First time, but here goes...
1) means speaker 1 and 2) means speaker 2
I Don't Like
1) I don't like the way you nitpick on me,
I don't like the way you scold me,
I don't like the way you punish the class,
All because of me.
2) I don't like the way you talk to me,
I don't like the way you as friends treat me,
I don't like the way you keep silent in class,
All because of me.
1) I don't like the way the sarcasm drips in your throat,
I don't like the way you manipulate the guys as maids,
I don't like the way you force squats on us,
All because of me.
1-2) Then why, oh why,
Didn't you tell me before,
When you tell me you didn't like that clear,
I would have stop dead in that.
1) I don't like the way you get pissed easily,
I don't like the way when you instill fear in us,
I don't like the way you don't give us slack,
All because of me.
2) I don't like the way you misbehave when I'm not near,
I don't like the way you don't do your homework,
I don't like the way you shut up in class,
All because of me.
1-2) So now, lets mend,
Put the past away like sand,
If we be wise and more kind,
We will make ourselves amends.
Eugene Koh
First time, but here goes...
1) means speaker 1 and 2) means speaker 2
I Don't Like
1) I don't like the way you nitpick on me,
I don't like the way you scold me,
I don't like the way you punish the class,
All because of me.
2) I don't like the way you talk to me,
I don't like the way you as friends treat me,
I don't like the way you keep silent in class,
All because of me.
1) I don't like the way the sarcasm drips in your throat,
I don't like the way you manipulate the guys as maids,
I don't like the way you force squats on us,
All because of me.
1-2) Then why, oh why,
Didn't you tell me before,
When you tell me you didn't like that clear,
I would have stop dead in that.
1) I don't like the way you get pissed easily,
I don't like the way when you instill fear in us,
I don't like the way you don't give us slack,
All because of me.
2) I don't like the way you misbehave when I'm not near,
I don't like the way you don't do your homework,
I don't like the way you shut up in class,
All because of me.
1-2) So now, lets mend,
Put the past away like sand,
If we be wise and more kind,
We will make ourselves amends.
Eugene Koh
3BN!!!
GO 3BN!!! CHAIRMAN WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, REMEMBER, I WILLING TO DO 10000 SQUATS OR MORE FOR YOU GUYS!!! DON'T LOSE HOPE ON THE CLASS!!!
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Punishment...
Today, I didn't complete my homework. A Math, E Math and Chinese. Feel so guilty. So I set up punishment for myself. 10 pumping every homework. 30 to do today. That hurts man.
But, hey, I'm still fine. Gotta improve my sit and reach. Train for NAPFA this year.
But, hey, I'm still fine. Gotta improve my sit and reach. Train for NAPFA this year.
Saturday, 10 January 2009
Okay... THE TRUE 100th Post...
Haha... never thought that I'll hit 100 posts on a blog before (Well, just a few days ago but that was bullshit) so in this special post... The Reason Why I Hate Christians.
My life started out without knowing what god is, like everybody else. And my father and mother were taoist and buddhist respectively. Well, they had a relgion because their parents told them to adopt their religion and they were certainly not very happy about it. Well, I was okay with it, coz I was born with it, what to do?
Then a primary 1 I was enrolled in Geylang Methodist Primary School. Yep, that school. I keep telling everyone that I'm from Edgefield but my first primary school is the former. Anyways it was from there that I got to for the first time know Christianity. I was fine with it, I prayed during praying sessions and what not. Trust me, although I did all that, I still view any religion as my parent's religion: Some sorta good story that people believe. Yea, I'm such a sucker.
Oh yea, there was one time, in church, that a teacher gave me this card that says "You are No. 1 (In God's eyes)" Being a child of innocence I was thinking "Hey, No. 1 eh... that's cool" and I showed my parents. Oh did they flare. They thought I went into a religion that they didn't allow me to. I cleared the air and everything was back to normal. Little did I know that the same people who stopped me from going into a relgion would be themselves accepting christ a few years later.
When they accepted christ, it was a tumultuous time for my family. My father accepted christ, my mother rejected it and the quarrels were so intense that I thought my mother gone insane by kneeling infront of my dad and begging him.
I had seen how a religion, good as it may be, almost tear apart my family.
It was kinda strange, around that time, all my relatives got to know the church one way or another. So now, even my brother is going into accepting christ. I prefer to stay an atheist, it's better that way. Even much so because I heard of hell. I'm prepared to suffer for eternity. I always prefer not to talk about religion, because if I do, I just become very offending. Sorry but, if you spread the gospel to me for more than three times I'll scream in your ear to fuck off. I'm serious about that.
Hey, what's the moody tone man? IT'S MY 100TH POST DAMMIT!!!
Hey, what's the moody tone man? IT'S MY 100TH POST DAMMIT!!!
Uh... 99th... Post....
I know... A mistake... I counted in the previous drafts as well... But, on the good side, there's a chapter 10 of Viktor. Sometime in March or soon. I don't know. I'm killin' my Russian Pop, coz I'm looking for a better one. So in the meantime, here's a song that is MY NO. 1!!!
This is "Она Не Твоя" (She's Not Yours) By Stas Pieha Feat. Grigory Leps
Lyrics at the bottom
This is "Она Не Твоя" (She's Not Yours) By Stas Pieha Feat. Grigory Leps
Lyrics at the bottom
Friday, 9 January 2009
100th POST!!!
Whoo! Finally reached a 100. To celebrate this there is two poems I'm posting today!!!
I Set a Bird Free Today
By Eugene Koh
I set a bird free today,
I know where she went,
I want to make her stay but,
All in all, too bad.
I met this bird one day,
Just right at my door,
Her left wing looked misplaced,
And it sure meant she couldn't fly.
I tried my best,
After treating her,
To make her love my home,
And perhaps forget her nest.
But alas, as time went by,
Though she singed and sang,
Her melody was of one,
The melody of her home.
I couldn't see,
What she really need,
Till I saw her pleading,
To set her free.
I set a bird free today,
Her injury all got.
It was hard to make her stay,
But I learned something that day.
The End.
Running
By Eugene Koh
I run.
I run blindly,
Without caring.
I run blindly,
Without caring,
about the truth.
The truth was hard to bear,
I thought my friend was inferior,
But he got 3 admirers instead.
I always knew this guy,
He was one of a sort,
He was noisy, loud and immature,
And no girl could have liked him.
Love, how sweet a word,
Yet jealousy burns in the eye who perceives it wrong.
I am jealous, and infuriated,
Mine was stolen,
Yet he gained 3.
I run.
I run blindly.
I run blindly,
Without caring.
The End
I Set a Bird Free Today
By Eugene Koh
I set a bird free today,
I know where she went,
I want to make her stay but,
All in all, too bad.
I met this bird one day,
Just right at my door,
Her left wing looked misplaced,
And it sure meant she couldn't fly.
I tried my best,
After treating her,
To make her love my home,
And perhaps forget her nest.
But alas, as time went by,
Though she singed and sang,
Her melody was of one,
The melody of her home.
I couldn't see,
What she really need,
Till I saw her pleading,
To set her free.
I set a bird free today,
Her injury all got.
It was hard to make her stay,
But I learned something that day.
The End.
Running
By Eugene Koh
I run.
I run blindly,
Without caring.
I run blindly,
Without caring,
about the truth.
The truth was hard to bear,
I thought my friend was inferior,
But he got 3 admirers instead.
I always knew this guy,
He was one of a sort,
He was noisy, loud and immature,
And no girl could have liked him.
Love, how sweet a word,
Yet jealousy burns in the eye who perceives it wrong.
I am jealous, and infuriated,
Mine was stolen,
Yet he gained 3.
I run.
I run blindly.
I run blindly,
Without caring.
The End
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