The sadness of what could have been.

Who am I? Today, I know myself as Koh Wen Jun, Eugene, 16, Vice-President of the Chung Cheng High School (Main) English Drama Society, classmate of 1MD'07, 2MD'08, 3BN'09, 4BN'10, Member of the Ching Cheng High School Audio Visual Aids Club... Just that I was never a councillor.

I haven't been supportive of the councillor board these few years I've been in Chung Cheng. For that whole time I saw myself to be greater than any of the councillors in the board, for I know I follow rules to the letter, and the ones I actually broke, like not handing up homework on time, most of them did too. But, I missed so much of the fun... That bonding which looked so akin to EDS... That sense of belonging...

I don't know how to start this, but it is not sufficient to say I hate the men who rejected my application into the councillor board. Councillor board 2007 Top 6 now seemed like a bunch of hypocrites to me... I hate them, despise them, ridicule then for not giving me that chance. I was an eligible man, and I still am!

Throughout the years I have heard many a story from my friends in the board. I listened with so much envy, but I disdained it. I hated them. But I directed the hate to the wrong people.

Love came, I hoped she wouldn't get into the board. But she did. I was so sad. Sad. Sad.

I know so many people in the board. To them I'm a no one, a man who was deemed none... But in my heart I wanted to be with them, in their ranks to serve the school... But my 4 years of secondary school was gone...

Mr Chua approached me last year, near the end of the year. He asked me whether I wanted to be in the board. I rejected. I regret it. I could have made a change, or could have I? What mattered...?

WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME THIS CHANCE???

Tribute to my uncle...

New milestone: blogging on a bus.

In front of the bus is my uncle. He's sleeping now, at eternal rest. What I could only fear for him now, and for a big portion of my family, is that they could be wrong.

三伯 as I know him, only had a vague impact on my memory. My first true memory of him was in a hospital, and recently too in a hospital as well. I think I remember him being baptised, but that was about it. He seemed like a man who could laugh and smile all day, and considering I never saw 二伯 myself, the eldest who really could have done so. I'm sad I couldn't got to know him better...

The bus is full of the siblings (I.e. My aunts and uncles) and my cousins to my first cousins once removed. We're sending of a man, whom most may remember, but I regretfully did not.

He is the first of the Koh-13 to go...

Bye, 三伯。

When we have shuffled off this mortal coil...

I'm so proud of myself. I blogged at home, blogged at the airport, blogged at a funeral, blogged on a computer, blogged on a public computer, blogged on a phone and blogged on an iPhone. XD What greater heights of blogging will I go to?

Have to say though, funeral ain't the best place to be. It's a place to talk about life and death, and anything in between and beyond. Not a good topic for any atheist. Should I attend the service or not? What's the right decorum? So many things told to me... And so little time to think.

I think, when I die, or at least die an atheist, I have to stipulate a way to bury atheists. There's a unique funeral procession for every religion but there's none for the humble human without a belief in higher beings. I'll build a cemetery for the atheist too, or a crematorium.

Come to think of it, most of the people at the DEP audition are free-thinkers... Should that be a stereotype of drama people? Too early to say...

DEP Audition...

Well, today was an eye-opener: There are those who think just about like me. Just saying. XD

Drama just has that knack of proving true its own stereotypes... Sassy, bitchy (pardon the crude language) total inclination to languages and the arts. The faint smell of make-up and perfume just wafted through the air as the CHIJ girls just blabbered their way into almost everything. I feel like I'm kind of an isolate: I don't know much about the arts field as they do to conjure up a good conversation piece. What I have is a more or less bilingual background to my name, and (to them at least) a seemingly interesting family business of pork butchering.

Of course, I missed out exaggeration, but I'll leave that to your imagination.

Romeo's monologue is a bitch... I never liked cliches. Just can't stand it. :/

I guess Vicky Tjia and Clara Tang must be enjoying their trip in other countries. XD

It hasn't been boring so far in the holidays... It's either the rest of my friends have no purpose in life, or that I'm jet-lagging. XD

I like my new blog music. :D

Ciao.

Tis' the season to be jolly!!!

Oh boy it's the end of O Levels already.

Can't wait for the real holiday mood to kick in. XD

Went to AFAX with Ming En and Christabel yesterday.

They better not let out my skeleton in the cupboard... :X

Haha I'm just tantalizing you guys.

I'll learn Russian seriously now...

Vicky's gonna learn her Spanish seriously in Spain too...

Envy her TTM...

Haha I'm going Hong Kong anyway. XD

But a European country seems more fun... Oh well. XD

Changed blog music. :D

Tradewinds...

Haha blogging at the airport now :D

Kinda weird thinking that just about anyone could just look over my shoulder and peep while I'm blogging. XD

Oh well, it's on the internet anyways. XD

Finished English, Mathematics, A. Mathematics, Literature, Elective History, Physics Paper 2 and Chem Paper 2.

Not a good feeling so far overall...

Hope moderation will still be a bitch :P

All right, got to go~

SS here I come!

Nah, maybe not...